Shiny Happy People

Saw another Louis Theroux's Weird Weekend episode on BBC 2. He spent an entire weekend with born-again Christians in Texas (where apparently three-quarters of the population are Christians). If you have DSL and have a decent downloading program (like eMule) this is the stuff to eat up your bandwith with. Or you can do the right thing and buy the DVD series online.

Unlike the angry-making documentary on the Westboro Baptist Church, these people actually look happy. Not angry, not condescending, and certainly not violent. They're just... happy. Maybe there's something we can learn from these people.

Here's a clip of Louis Theroux doing a cover of George Michael's Faith with The Family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOpY4MBA63s. Years ago The Family became headliners for using a very unconventional technique of recruiting people called flirty fishing, although while watching the documentary it was very obvious that not a single member of the group is attractive enough to do much with this strategy.

Now if Mormons did that the entire country would be wearing a white shirt with an I LOVE JESUS pin on the breast pocket. Have you seen those guys? I remember years ago my best friend Aissa was alone in their house one lazy afternoon. A knock on the door and when she answered she saw two guys from Salt Lake City who asked her if she has met her Savior. She immediately let them in. They showed her leaflets and tried converting her. She served them snacks and ogled. We reckon they left after noticing Aissa all giggly and drooling.

Unbearable sadness

Am I the only one who finds it sad that our national hero these days isn't a humanitarian who helps a depressed community, a great thinker who might solve our economic woes nor a scientist who might be discovering a better way to live our lives? Instead it's a boxer who thought he can be a congressman. And we wonder why the best of us are dying to work abroad?

I mean, come on!!!!

Shakespeare in Chuva

This is soooooo much fun!

Thou canst not say I did it: never shake
Thy gory chuva at me.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

Pinoy Big Briber

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God Hates Fags

Saw Louis Theroux's BBC documentary on the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, entitled "The Most Hated Family In America." Watch it here before it disappears: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4413388146858417528.

As with any cult, the members are of course blindingly unaware that they are in a cult. Fred Phelps, "Gramps" as they call him, is the patriarch of the church which members are mostly his extended family. But unlike other charismatic preachers and founders of similar groups, he appears to be vengeful, bitter and patently as charismatic as a flake of dandruff.

The interesting aspect of the documentary is that Theroux was able to penetrate the cult at all. The entire time I kept expecting members of the congregation to mob and stone him to death for asking his questions. I wonder if the members thought him stupid and pointless anyway so he can't be capable of posing any threat, or they are just simply starved for attention that any exposure is considered a nod from a wrathful God who hates fags, dead soldiers and, curiously enough, Sweden. Their website, http://www.godhatesamerica.com/, is worth a read.

Expectedly the knee-jerk reaction of any self-confessed fag is hate for this group, but when one really thinks about it, it became too difficult to ignore the thought that the younger members are most probably don't understand what they're doing, but they've been doing it since they were four, so it becomes their outlook by way of forced habit. One gets the feeling that some of them don't really believe what they're saying, but they've said it already so they have to stick to it. And like your average religious fanatics, you wonder if they just need a good fuck to put their lives into perspective.

Dog-gone year

We got Yuki from a breeder in Pasay on new year's eve 2006 by accident. Actually, I forced Peter to get her for us. We were looking around in pet stores and saw smaller breeds but I saw a chocolate brown labrador and instantly fell in love with her. Now, we simply had to change her name. On her Philippine Canine Association paper, she was named Myrna by a breeder obviously lacking in the creativity department. We chose the name Yuki (snow in Japanese) not because she was pure, but her colour reminds one of five-day old snow on the sidewalk.

According to a dog age calculator (www.pedigree.com/dogsandpuppies/DogAgeCalc.asp), Yuki, who is 12 months old, is 12 years old in human age. No wonder she's getting spots. Her nipples were extremely large, too, but that's only because she was apparently pregnant when she was eight months old, the whore. She had a miscarriage a couple of months ago and was unconsolable for a day, until she discovered Yakult.

The night before her birthday, we had our housewarming party on the 27th of October, and at the stroke of midnight, Yuki was out like a hoe. Passed out on the rug with a cigarette and cans of beer around her, there's no mistaking that she is our dog. Give her a few years and she'll be single and fat in a trailer park with more kids than she can care to feed.

Panglao Island

Peter and I found a really good deal for a return flight to Tagbilaran (Cebu Pacific PhP 6000 return for two) so we decided to go to Panglao Island. Never been there before but heard how amazing the diving is so it had always been on top of my list. Were going to stay for a week, but didn't really know where to setup camp so I asked our friend Hans for recommendations and ended up on Dumaluan Beach, Panglao's premiere destination for terminally boring travelers. I couldn't decide if it was the surly staff or the dead silence, but the place reminded me of Ortigas Home Depot, sans the fun bits of electrical supplies and things one screws on.

On our first evening, we decided to eat local: Dumaluan Beach Resort 1 has a little kiosk behind several cottages where they grill marinated meats and "fresh" seafood. By "fresh" they meant just defrosted. I asked the guy behind the counter what food they have and he grudgingly pointed to two plastic shoeboxes containing month-old porkchops in soy sauce. Asked whether they have seafood on offer, he gave me a look which said, "What have I done to deserve this?" That pretty much summed up our three days in Dumaluan Beach Resort 1.

Wise words: Avoid that pointless dump unless you want to experience anger and resentment on your holiday. Go to Alona Beach instead.

Ooops Bar and Cottages in Alona Beach was fun! And at PhP 900 for a cottage per day it's a bargain. Great food, fun staff, and the security guard moonlights as a motorbike rental agency. PhP 50 per hour (Dumaluan Beach Resort PhP 250 for the first hour, PhP 100 for each succeeding hour). Diving in Panglao is actually quite cheap. Genesis Divers offers two dives and full equipment rental for US$53, a steal compared to almost US$100 in most dive spots in the country. Balicasag Island, about 25 minutes off Panglao by motorboat, was the best place to dive, I was told. Not very impressive corals, crazyfuck scary schools of jackfish and barracudas which have a very disconcerting look when they see divers. They follow you with their eyes as if thinking, "Should we have a little nip?" Saw huge sea turtles and clownfish. We did two spots: Black Forest (slope) and Diver's Heaven (wall). Definitely worth doing if one can't afford Coron. Personally, I prefer wrecks, looking like one myself.

Did a few daytrips to the Bohol Bee Farm where we had one of the best Seafood Pasta in Coconut Milk and Squash Muffins (ask me for the recipes). Went to the Hinagdanan Cave, which smelled like the Panglao Island Urinal. We went to the Loboc River Cruise stop and decided that it's not really fun to get on a boat which goes up and down a muddy river, especially when we have to pay for it. To our surprise, signs which read SEE A TARSIER HERE point to shops which have a few pots of plants with sleepy looking tarsiers on their branches. I expected a mini rainforest where tarsiers jump from one tree to another, but they decided to make it easier for tourists by having them in places where one might stop for a pee. They had boxes nailed on the posts with "Donation for feeding tarsiers" written on them, and I dropped two pesos, thinking the world's smallest primates most probably don't eat much.

On our last day we decided to drive to the Panglao Island Nature Resort and Spa, and it was well worth it. Daytrips cost PhP300 per person, PhP100 of which is for facilities rental (infinity pool!!! pool bar!!! billiards!!!), and the remaining PhP200 is consumable. Food ok, drinks cheap. All in all, quite a good deal.

Will I go back to Panglao? Sure, but if Palawan is the other option, I'd gladly go to Coron instead. Peter actually started thinking of buying property on Panglao, and to date I am still trying to convince him that perhaps it's not the wisest thing to do. He's convinced that he knows a bargain when he sees one. Oh well.

Tip: If you're going to Panglao, just outside the airport in Tagbilaran you can either hire a private car or taxi to take you to your resort (PhP350-450, haggle). If you're feeling touristy, tricycles will drive you there for about PhP200. Stay in a cheap resort, spend your day at the expensive ones. They don't charge much for the use of their facilities and you get to do it properly with poolside bars and deck chairs.

Best grill: The one just outside Oasis Bar. Superb grilled veggies and sirloin.

Best English food and drinks: Ooops Bar. They have pies and mash. Other items on the menu are also reasonably priced and the portions are big. Staff very very friendly, except that during breakfast they constantly played Sitti, which intially is innocuous enough, then after a couple of songs you realise that it's an entire album with all the songs sharing the same rhythm, kind of like those cheap casette tapes they used to play in jeepneys when I was in high school. I simply cannot stand Sitti.